An arm & a leg

Argh, I took my car in for repairs today & it turns out I'm going to have to shell out $700+ for a new catalytic converter. At this rate, I'm going to have to get a second job! I just went to the Kaplan website & signed up for more info about teaching MCAT. Mo' money mo' problems...the more stuff you own, the more it owns you, etc.

I've been reading about some really poor ppl in Tracy Kidder's biography of Paul Farmer, Mountains Beyond Mountains. In my med school essays (done, btw), I discussed my aspirations of working to provide medical care to the underserved & needy. But what Paul Farmer & his organization Partners In Health are doing is completely on another level. Think affirmative action for the third world. They are preferentially treating the poor who would otherwise die of TB (tuberculosis) & HIV (AIDS) in areas like Haiti, Peru, & Russia, and providing them with the money & resources to make lasting improvements to their lives.

The book lays a huge moral imperative on anyone who reads it. On Sunday I had a cloud of guilt hanging over me that just grew & grew as I went about reading the book, making lunch, watching Barefoot Contessa on Food Network, & reading more of the book. I ended up going to the library to check out a book on infectious diseases & tapes to teach myself Spanish, which would be useful in any low-income area where I might end up serving, here in the US anyway. It's like...how can I stress out about what I'm going to eat or wear today when ppl in other parts of the world don't even have such a basic luxury? Then, as I was cruising to some music in my car on the way back home, I realized that those of us who live in rich countries are entrusted w/the so-called advancement of the human race. I still want to commit myself to humanitarian work, but I also have the (admittedly undeserved) privilege of participating in scientific research and supporting music & the arts, and that, too, is important. It may very well be useful--even necessary--to turn your back on "worldly things" when serving the poor in remote regions, but I think it should be a conscious choice & not done to disparage or pass judgment on ppl who live in wealthy nations. Nor should it be done as a protective measure, to justify what you're doing b/c you have "so much more self-control" than your countrymen. I know these are tempting attitudes to assume for anyone who does good works. Just some thoughts as I process what I've read so far.