That's just the way it is ...

Jennie’s wedding:

Preface: Jennie was an all-around fun girl to be around when we were growing up. She only got into Agape Mission Church & sort of went off the religious deep end when she went off to college.

The wedding was … scary. I say that b/c after the first 5 min, which seemed normal (pastor saying words of welcome & summarizing the purpose for the occasion), the praise leader @ the head of the room busted out a guitar and the whole room started worshipping. It’s been a while since I’ve been in that type of environment, but the fervor of their praise—raised hands, raised voices, incantations/outbursts—genuinely alarmed me at first. (Honestly, I felt like I’d been tricked into going to church—it was like service @ Harvest but more intense.)

This wedding was the most efficient I’ve ever been to. People might have had different opinions about the affair, but the consensus on it can be summarized in 3 words: “It was organized.” It started at 2 and was over by 4:30. It was boom, boom, boom. The reception took place in the same room as the ceremony, so they ushered us into the foyer while they turned the sanctuary into a dining room. After the 30-min. buffet-style reception they were like, “We’re going to break down the tables, so (basically) get lost.” The whole thing was seriously choreographed. There were 6 "wedding coordinators," 4 "gift runners," and a bunch of ppl running around w/headsets who orchestrated the whole thing. The groom’s party made it down the aisle in 2 seconds flat, and the bride & bridesmaids took just a little more time. (I’m sorry, but the whole inspirational-muzak-in-place-of-wedding-processional did not quite jive with me.)

They did succeed in shifting the focus of the wedding away from the trappings i.e., the dress, flowers, accessories, music, having everything just so. Just what they shifted it to is debatable. It was supposed to be about God, but I think the absence of the traditional stuff detracted from that and it became more about how untraditional it was, at least to those of us on the outside. Jennie’s parents were offended & almost didn’t come to the wedding at all (2 round trips from NJ to MD between Friday night & Saturday morning were involved) b/c the church was organizing everything & wouldn’t even allow them to speak @ their own daughter’s wedding. Cult-like is how I described the whole thing to my parents.

It wasn’t all weird. The vows, which Jennie & Lee had drawn up themselves, had a ring of sincerity to them, esp. since they both said, “I love you” to each other. It’s a bit weird, isn’t it, that we don’t hear that at weddings more? (At least I haven’t). The situation brought out the best in certain ppl, too. Peter was going to go no matter what, to show his support & “give” his sister away if their parents didn’t show—not that there was anyone to give away b/c apparently the church had already taken her—but he had to negotiate a lot of the conflict b/w the ‘rents and his sister as well. I think the parents really appreciated the showing from TAFPC, esp since they themselves hadn’t been to TAFPC in a long time.

Classic “Peter” quote about the whole thing: “There are worse things that could happen to you … like drugs, alcohol, and unemployment.”

Rest of the weekend was spent hanging out w/the TAFPC crew. I wasn’t going into the weekend w/many expectations, b/c I’d alienated myself from everyone for such a long time (4 years) & I knew there’d been gossip about me, too. But the weekend exceeded my expectations in several ways. First of all, there were no prying questions about my personal affairs, though I did end up telling Janice about my situation on the way home. Everyone just sort of treated me as if I’d never left but w/a bit more maturity. And it was interesting to see: 1. How everyone has changed perhaps on the outside but is still very much the same on the inside. 2. How we’re becoming more and more like our parents.

First observation: Maybe ppl have changed more than what I saw this weekend, but being together again, we all sort of fell into our old patterns of behavior w/ the guys goofing off & the girls being the appreciative audience.

Second observation: Everything we did this weekend required a 30-min buffer b/c, well, you try moving an 11-some-odd group of Taiwanese ppl from Point A to Point B. Talk about AST (Asian Standard Time). I could see some of the patriarchal culture thing going, too, w/the guys getting in a circle to discuss “serious things” i.e. their jobs & “next moves,” while the girls sat around talking about fashion, shopping, and the dish on so-and-so.

All in all, it was a good time, but it's unlikely that I'll be seeing many of them 'til the next wedding ... Right now it's a toss-up between Zimmy & Chris and Grace & her bei-lang boyfriend Danny.